---
title: "What helps couples get through a hard season? | Vimeundwa"
description: "What Kenyan couples say helped most, and the turning points that changed things."
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> Index of every page on this site: [llms.txt](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/llms.txt)
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# What helps couples get through a hard season?
A counsellor, a pastor or imam, a mentor couple, or just the two of you deciding to talk. Here is what couples say made the difference.
## **What helped most**
*Asked what helped most, the most common answer was nothing helped (24% of 529).*
**Show the numbers**
| **Answer** | **People** | **%** |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Nothing helped | 128 | 24.2% |
| Pastor, imam or faith leader | 91 | 17.2% |
| My family | 75 | 14.2% |
| Friends | 59 | 11.2% |
| Professional counsellor | 44 | 8.3% |
| Elders | 41 | 7.8% |
| Mentor or older couple | 38 | 7.2% |
| My spouse's family | 25 | 4.7% |
| Online groups or social media | 16 | 3% |
| A book, course or seminar | 12 | 2.3% |
| No one | 0 | 0% |
| Other | 0 | 0% |
Based on 529 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)
## **What helped most, by where the marriage is today**
*Among 336 people who are together today, the most common answer for what helped most was nothing helped (24%).*
**Show the numbers**
| | **No one** | **Professional counsellor** | **Mentor or older couple** | **Pastor, imam or faith leader** | **My family** | **My spouse's family** | **Friends** | **Elders** | **A book, course or seminar** | **Online groups or social media** | **Other** | **Nothing helped** |
| --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- | --- |
| Together | Hidden (fewer than 10) | 9.5% | 8% | 17.6% | 14% | 3.9% | 11% | 7.1% | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | 23.8% |
| Separated now | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | 17.3% | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | 24% |
| Divorced | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | 21.7% | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | 12% | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | 21.7% |
| Widowed | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | 0% | Hidden (fewer than 10) | Hidden (fewer than 10) | 34.3% |
Based on 529 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)
## **Turning points**
*The most common turning point: we realised we didn't want to lose each other (21% of 529).*
**Show the numbers**
| **Answer** | **People** | **%** |
| --- | --- | --- |
| We realised we didn't want to lose each other | 112 | 21.2% |
| One of us apologised | 95 | 18% |
| Thinking of the children | 90 | 17% |
| We started counselling | 56 | 10.6% |
| There was no turning point | 55 | 10.4% |
| A spiritual experience | 47 | 8.9% |
| A crisis (illness, death, accident) | 38 | 7.2% |
| A mentor's advice | 36 | 6.8% |
| Other | 0 | 0% |
Based on 529 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)
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```
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