---
title: "My spouse left the house - what do I do? Couples who came back | Vimeundwa"
description: "Leaving home does not have to be the end. Many couples who separated came back together. Here is what brought them back - and what ended it for others."
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> Index of every page on this site: [llms.txt](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/llms.txt)
# My spouse left the house - what do I do? Couples who came back
Leaving home does not have to be the end. Many couples who separated came back together. Here is what brought them back - and what ended it for others.
*[Photo: Gabby K / Pexels](https://www.pexels.com/photo/5330981/)*
## What couples told us
### **Ever left home because of conflict**
**45%**
*45% of 644 people said one of them had left home at least once because of conflict.*
Based on 644 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)
### **Together again after leaving home**
**57%**
*Of 272 people who separated at least once, 57% are married and living together today.*
Based on 272 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)
### **From leaving home to today**
*Where 644 people's marriages are today, by how many times one spouse left home because of conflict.*
**Show the numbers**
| Never left home → Together | 297 |
| --- | --- |
| Never left home → Separated now | 18 |
| Never left home → Divorced | 22 |
| Never left home → Widowed | 16 |
| Left once → Together | 85 |
| Left once → Separated now | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Left once → Divorced | 33 |
| Left once → Widowed | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Left 2-3 times → Together | 54 |
| Left 2-3 times → Separated now | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Left 2-3 times → Divorced | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Left 2-3 times → Widowed | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Left 4+ times → Together | 15 |
| Left 4+ times → Separated now | 18 |
| Left 4+ times → Divorced | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Left 4+ times → Widowed | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
Based on 644 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)
### **What brought them back**
*Most common answer: We missed each other (47% of 154 people who answered).*
**Show the numbers**
| **Answer** | **People** | **%** |
| --- | --- | --- |
| We missed each other | 73 | 47.4% |
| The children | 72 | 46.8% |
| An apology and real change | 56 | 36.4% |
| Faith and prayer | 49 | 31.8% |
| Elders or family stepped in | 46 | 29.9% |
| Pastor, imam or faith leader | 43 | 27.9% |
| Counsellor | 17 | 11% |
| Pressure from others | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Financial reasons | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Other | 0 | 0% |
Based on 154 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)
## How they built through it
*Illustrative photo - not the couple in this story. [Photo: Terrillo Walls / Pexels](https://www.pexels.com/photo/2230028/)*
**Married 3-5 years · Money · Together today**
### [One of us left home in our first 5 years - and we're still together](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/stories/one-of-us-left-home-in-our-first-5-years-and-we-re-still-together-4a7a1d)
We have been married for 3 to 5 years. Ours is a church marriage. We have two children together. We live in Nyanza.
**Both spouses' sides**
*Illustrative photo - not the couple in this story. [Photo: Alex Green / Pexels](https://www.pexels.com/photo/5699694/)*
**Married 6-10 years · In-laws · Together today**
### [One of us left home in our first 6 years - and we're still together](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/stories/one-of-us-left-home-in-our-first-6-years-and-we-re-still-together-3bf3d2)
We have been married for 6 to 10 years. Ours is a customary marriage. We have one child together. We live in Western.
*Illustrative photo - not the couple in this story. [Photo: Nduwa Siachaba / Pexels](https://www.pexels.com/photo/40559839/)*
**Married 6-10 years · Money · Divorced**
### [Money and finances in year 1 of our marriage: what we learned](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/stories/money-and-finances-in-year-1-of-our-marriage-what-we-learned-d6162b)
We have been married for 6 to 10 years. Ours is a come-we-stay, later formalised marriage. We have one child together. We live in Nairobi.
*Illustrative photo - not the couple in this story. [Photo: Kindel Media / Pexels](https://www.pexels.com/photo/6994202/)*
**Married under 3 years · Money · Divorced**
### [Job loss or business failure in year 3 of our marriage: what we learned](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/stories/job-loss-or-business-failure-in-year-3-of-our-marriage-what-we-learned-1793ad)
We have been married for less than 3 years. Ours is a church marriage. We have one child together. We live in Rift Valley.
*Illustrative photo - not the couple in this story. [Photo: Diva Plavalaguna / Pexels](https://www.pexels.com/photo/5711597/)*
**Married 3-5 years · Money · Together today**
### [We separated 3 times in our first 4 years - and we're still together](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/stories/we-separated-3-times-in-our-first-4-years-and-we-re-still-together-363ad9)
We have been married for 3 to 5 years. Ours is a islamic marriage. We have one child together. We live in Central.
*Illustrative photo - not the couple in this story. [Photo: Anthony Shkraba / Pexels](https://www.pexels.com/photo/7579175/)*
**Married under 3 years · Addiction · Separated now**
### [Alcohol or other addiction in year 3 of our marriage: what we learned](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/stories/alcohol-or-other-addiction-in-year-3-of-our-marriage-what-we-learned-53647d)
We have been married for less than 3 years. Ours is a church marriage. We have one child together. We live in Nairobi.
[See all 11 stories](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/stories?topic=separation)
## Fight fair on this
- 1If you need space, say when you will talk again. Leaving without a word makes coming back harder.
- 2Keep the children out of the middle: no messages through them, no turning them against a parent.
- 3Coming back works best with a plan: what will be different, and who will help you.
[Read the Fight Fair guide](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/fight-fair)
## If you are not safe
Being hit, threatened or controlled is not a rough patch - it is abuse, and it is never your fault. Help is free and confidential, for women and men.
- [**1195****National GBV helpline**Free, 24 hours](tel:1195)
- [**1199****Kenya Red Cross**Free counselling](tel:1199)
[**Abuse vs conflict, and how to plan for safety**](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/when-its-not-okay)
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