Married 6-10 years · In-laws · Together today
One of us left home in our first 6 years - and we're still together
We have been married for 6 to 10 years. Ours is a customary marriage. We have one child together. We live in Western.
Can a marriage survive infidelity? Kenyan couples answer
Finding out about an affair can feel like the end. Some couples rebuilt trust and some did not. Their answers show what made the difference.
What couples told us
How many named this challenge
22%
Based on 529 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · How we count
What helped most
Show the numbers
| Answer | People | % |
|---|---|---|
| Nothing helped | 32 | 27.1% |
| Pastor, imam or faith leader | 22 | 18.6% |
| My family | 20 | 16.9% |
| Elders | 12 | 10.2% |
| Professional counsellor | 10 | 8.5% |
| Friends | 10 | 8.5% |
| My spouse's family | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| A book, course or seminar | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Mentor or older couple | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Online groups or social media | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| No one | 0 | 0% |
| Other | 0 | 0% |
Based on 118 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · How we count
What did not help
Show the numbers
| Answer | People | % |
|---|---|---|
| Silent treatment | 63 | 53.4% |
| Friends or family taking sides | 43 | 36.4% |
| Involving too many people | 37 | 31.4% |
| Threatening divorce | 34 | 28.8% |
| Social media | 28 | 23.7% |
| Revenge | 14 | 11.9% |
| Leaving home | 13 | 11% |
| Other | 0 | 0% |
Based on 118 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · How we count
How they built through it
Married 11-20 years · Trust broken · Together today
Unfaithfulness nearly ended our marriage in year 5. Here's how we built it back
We have been married for 11 to 20 years. Ours is a islamic marriage. We have three or more children. We live in Nairobi.
Married 6-10 years · Money · Together today
Unfaithfulness nearly ended our marriage in year 7. Here's how we built it back
We have been married for 6 to 10 years. Ours is a come-we-stay, later formalised marriage. We have one child together. We live in Coast.
Married 11-20 years · Money · Together today
We separated 3 times in our first 20 years - and we're still together
We have been married for 11 to 20 years. Ours is a customary marriage. We have three or more children. We live in Coast.
Both spouses' sides
Fight fair on this
- 1Rebuilding trust takes time and openness: honest answers, no hidden phones, no defending.
- 2The hurt spouse will ask the same questions many times. Answer patiently; that is part of healing.
- 3A counsellor or a trusted mentor couple can hold the conversation when it is too heavy for two.
If you are not safe
Being hit, threatened or controlled is not a rough patch - it is abuse, and it is never your fault. Help is free and confidential, for women and men.