Married 3-5 years · Money · Together today
One of us left home in our first 5 years - and we're still together
We have been married for 3 to 5 years. Ours is a church marriage. We have two children together. We live in Nyanza.
Both spouses' sides
Living apart for work: how couples kept their marriage close
One spouse in Nairobi, the other upcountry. One working in the Gulf. Distance tests trust and closeness. Here is how couples managed.
What couples told us
How many named this challenge
8%
Based on 529 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · How we count
What helped most
Show the numbers
| Answer | People | % |
|---|---|---|
| Nothing helped | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| My family | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Professional counsellor | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Mentor or older couple | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Pastor, imam or faith leader | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Friends | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| My spouse's family | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Elders | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| A book, course or seminar | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Online groups or social media | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| No one | 0 | 0% |
| Other | 0 | 0% |
Based on 41 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · How we count
What did not help
Show the numbers
| Answer | People | % |
|---|---|---|
| Friends or family taking sides | 20 | 48.8% |
| Silent treatment | 20 | 48.8% |
| Involving too many people | 17 | 41.5% |
| Threatening divorce | 11 | 26.8% |
| Leaving home | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Social media | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Revenge | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Other | 0 | 0% |
Based on 41 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · How we count
How they built through it
Married 11-20 years · Kids · Together today
Children or parenting nearly ended our marriage in year 4. Here's how we built it back
We have been married for 11 to 20 years. Ours is a church marriage. We have three or more children. We live in Central.
Fight fair on this
- 1Agree on a rhythm for calls and visits, and keep it even when busy.
- 2Share small daily things, not only problems and money requests.
- 3Talk openly about what each of you needs to feel trusted while apart.
If you are not safe
Being hit, threatened or controlled is not a rough patch - it is abuse, and it is never your fault. Help is free and confidential, for women and men.